REX DANIEL

Quiet Confidence

2 April 2023

Building quiet confidence is similar to wine making. Developing a refined self-confidence requires a sophisticated process similar to producing a high-quality wine from harvesting to bottling. And as with wine, confidence is enhanced through time.

Harvesting

Fresh and ripened grapes are selected as a raw material. Proper timing is important, as premature, or delayed harvesting can significantly affect the acidity and alcohol content. Our life choices yield to life lessons we harvest. The more frequently we allow uplifting moments to enter our lives, the more opportunities we have to gain self-awareness.

Crushing

Grapes are crushed or pressed to extract the juice. Depending on the type of wine, grapes are treated to prepare for the next stage of fermentation. The trials we face, especially in our childhood, are integral to our development. Pressure may come from peers, family, or hormones. Overcoming these challenges and advancing to the important milestones ahead requires perseverance.

Fermentation

To achieve a successful fermentation, growth suppression of undesirable microorganisms, presence of adequate number of desirable yeasts, and meticulous temperature control for excessive heat prevention are required. The relationships and connections we form influence our habits. Building relationships with people who are aligned with our vision can augment our growth, and effectively managing our temperament will invite peace of mind and harmony.

Clarification

After fermentation, wine goes through major procedures that involve fining, filtration, centrifugation, refrigeration, ion exchange, and heating. These methods ensure the removal of unwanted materials such as metals and proteins and ultimately produce a balanced wine. We may tinker with different combinations of materials and methods in our lives, with people and interests moving in or through our consciousness. In our journey, the knowledge that we gain from these experiences enables us to achieve personal refinement.

Aging and Bottling

Wine improves with age and so can we. Time allows us to test ourselves through repetition and to become experienced and seasoned.

What sets one wine apart from another is its richness and boldness. Just like wine, the key to quiet confidence is the delicate selection of ingredients in life to create an outstanding blend. It is the combination of self-awareness, perseverance, harmony, refinement, and seasoning that produces the unique vintage of a life.

Developing quiet confidence, just like wine production, requires sophistication and intention. Embracing our uniqueness, continuing to leverage our daily learning opportunities, and sharing our love with others are critical. After all, “[quiet] confidence is not about walking in a room and thinking you are better than everyone, it is walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.”

How Do We Overcome the Fear of Change?

4 Mar 2023

Change is like driving across a bridge. We become uncomfortable and fearful of the unknown. Instinctively, our senses are triggered, our hearts beat faster than usual, we straighten our posture, and we hold on to that steering wheel as tightly as we can. Especially if you have driven across the Golden Gate Bridge, you are required to turn on your headlights and slow down because of the low visibility caused by fog. And if you have passengers with you, you become hypervigilant knowing that a single lapse in judgment can be fatal. Ultimately, what we want is a safe passage across.

 Just like crossing the bridge, we go through several changes in our lifetime. And just like bridges, some changes are bigger than others. So here are three things to consider when we experience changes in life, however big or small. Change is:

 Temporary. One of my favorite quotes – “Your life will change when you realize how temporary every moment is – Your darkest moments are temporary, so you must never ever give up on yourself when it’s raining. Your brightest moments are also, temporary, so you must learn to live in the moment when the sun is shining.”

Painful. Whether you lost loved ones, you are going through a divorce or breakup, you moved to a new city with no friends or family, you have competing priorities with family, work, and school, or you go through periods of burnout and depression, change is painful. But, it is,

Necessary. It is through change that we can evolve, finding the deeper meaning of our life’s purpose, and discovering new connections and destinations. When we fear change, we lose the opportunity to appreciate life in its fullest form.

As we navigate the constant changes ahead, remember change is happening every single day and only through this personal evolution will we reach new heights. It is through change that we can find strength through human connections, achieve significant milestones in our lives, and ultimately reinvent ourselves as a better version. And if change is taking longer than expected, perhaps the car broke down in the middle of the bridge and you must walk to get to the other side, remember, we cannot appreciate the peace, joy, and light if we don’t experience turbulence, pain, and darkness in life. Simply put, we can’t have rainbows without the rain.

 So, how do we overcome the fear of change?

Embrace it. Keep your eyes focused on the road and utilize the rearview mirror to see how far you have traveled. While change is painful, temporary, and necessary, one should not go through it alone. So be kind to yourself and be kind to others by remembering always to celebrate the wins, however insignificant they may seem.

Can We Have a Sense of Gratitude When We Feel Broken Inside?

25 Feb 2023

In life’s journey, each day presents a roadblock. At a young age, I had a first-hand experience of what inequality and despair look like, when even the necessities of life seem impossible to obtain. Each of those moments left me ungrateful. As I got older, the traumatic experiences overshadowed the countless blessings of love, charity, and humanity that I also experienced.

Often, our unhealed traumas resurface when we are placed in a difficult situation. Our minds employ the coping mechanisms we learned during times of defeat, abandonment, and betrayal. However, finding beauty in a thunderstorm is a necessary and rewarding undertaking if one seeks essential happiness. We cannot have rainbows without the rain. It is never easy, but one can slow down. Taking a step back when faced with difficulty can enable our minds to carefully assess how to best navigate forward. Sometimes it means pulling over on a dirt road and asking ourselves, is this the right way? Sometimes it means seeking for help to search an alternative path. Sometimes it means taking risks and continuing to drive toward the unknown because exercising faith, following that inner voice, and trusting the signs that the universe provided along the way might just improve our situation. Or sometimes, we see that we are absolutely lost, and only asking in earnest prayer for guidance and light will deliver us to that destination.

Healing is an ongoing journey, and it starts with gratitude. This morning, I began my day wishing things were different. But as I arose and lifted the blinds, I was struck by the radiant sunshine streaming through the crystal glass onto my face here in a place of relative comfort, a sensation that not everyone can experience. I am reminded that I have a shelter and refuge while others experience homelessness. I am reminded of the gift of life – that I am blessed to have another day to live and, with it, another opportunity to pursue my purpose.

Gratitude can be found in every situation, however good or bad. It is through gratitude that we fuel our faith to fully embrace the idea that life is a gift, and that we must cherish every moment. It is through gratitude that we can find comfort in times of despair, that we can paint vibrant colors over the darkness splattered in our hearts, that we can refill our cups with clean water, that we can attract connections that are beneficial to our existence, that we can heal from the sorrows of humanity, that we can replenish our souls with light and positivity, and that we can grow and reinvent ourselves toward a better version, and it is gratitude that can ultimately enable us to help others heal. One must not journey and heal alone. Having a sense of gratitude might be difficult but it is always alive – only if we believe in it and only if we can learn to freely share it. 

Can we have a sense of gratitude when we feel broken inside?

Gratitude requires healing and healing starts with gratitude.